The ogres come off as mostly being cartoony. Which is fine, I suppose- but why does she take their word for it? These are suspected kidnappers- would it not make sense to have a look around, and see if they were telling the truth? Maybe look for some clues? If this were an intentional point to show her as being inexperienced, that’s fine- but a point ought to be made of it.
Well, the plot finally seems to progress at a normal pace, which is commendable. I do like the investigative aspect, to get to the bottom of things by using your head and your wits.
While the break from story back to its narrator isn’t bad per se, it feels like a clumsy way to establish that the woman was, in fact, suspicious. That could have been done more smoothly in the story itself, in my opinion- Passadar showing off her intuition in her thoughts, instead of it being recounted by the narrator.
I have to wonder, what prompts her to ask about abuse? It’s a pretty rude question to ask unless you’ve got grounds to suspect it- and I don’t see her having any. It just sort of comes out of the blue, and she’s right. Intuition is well and all, but it can only take you so far.
I also think her conclusions are a bit too hasty. All she knows is that the ogres said there was a mage- and she didn’t bother to double check it- and she has assumed that it must be him. Even before meeting her, she has already come to the conclusion that it’s got to be him. She doesn’t know that- the ogres could be wrong, there could be another mage; a lot of options are possible. If she had a solid basis for her suspicions, it would be another thing, but I don’t see it.