I'll be your chef today as we explore some tropes that I have come across in many a greasy platter of pasta most creepy...
Now, this, as with all things, is not an absolute, but if you've read as many 'Creepypasta' stories as I have, you've seen these in MANY of them.
The ones of high quality and/or staying power, like the Slenderman, The Russian Sleep Experiment and the Mt. Hood Cave Expedition, are unsettling in their own right, introducing just enough otherness while maintaining a believable anchor in reality.
We're not going to talk about those here though!
We're talking about the eye-rollers and the scoff-plenties!
Make sure that your Pasta is centered around something common or popular. Either because you need the mass appeal or you're attempting to capture universal dread. Chances are if you're writing a Creepy Pasta, you're a more nerdy, net-savvy sort, so chances are equally good that you'll write what you know. So what's that entail? Cartoons and video games... ONLY HAUNTED!
The second half of this first step is to ensure that your character is someone semi-relatable. A student, intern or other such occupation.
Do not, under any circumstances, perform basic grammar or spell-checking! You're writing a scary story, you shouldn't be bothered to adhere to the tenants of the language you're using! Who's got time for that?! What is this, a classroom?! Those are sooooooo booooooring!
Touch upon a dark subject, like murder or suicide. For increased audacity, make the victim someone innocent and helpless! Nothing says scary like snuff!
BLOOD! Lots and lots of blood! Put so much blood in your story that if it were made into a movie, you would blow half the budget on corn syrup and red food coloring! And make ABSOLUTELY SURE that blood comes down *SOMEONE'S* eyes at some point, because that's extra-scary!
Mentioning that something doesn't quite match the format of the medium it's being presented on is such a pedestrian way of describing graphic dissonance... If you REALLY want to get your spook on, then you need only two words! HYPER-REALISTIC!!! If your CreepyPasta is lacking these two words, used no less than twice, you're doing it wrong! Eyes are the windows of the soul, so make sure to describe the eyes this way and don't you DARE forget to describe the blood in this manner! Indeed, emphasize how realistic something is, beyond the pale, with the word 'hyper'!
Believable behavior is for Nazi conformist cheerleaders! You've got a narrative handy and you shouldn't be bothered to come up with a reason why the characters keep doing whatever it is they're doing that gets them further in trouble. If you write your characters turning the game off or calling the police, you've ruined a perfectly good Creepy Pasta...
Plushies are scary.
If you haven't made some clumsy attempt to break the fourth wall or haphazardly turn the narrative over on its head at some point, you're not being spooky enough!
Time is a VERY SCARY thing. Your creative writing and drama teacher said so after all. So be sure to note the passage of time as specifically as possible in minutes and seconds, preferably in multiples of 5. (5, 10, 15, 20 etc.)
If you haven't used the word 'entrails', you're not being spooky enough!
If you don't write in that there are screams of some sort, you're not being spooky enough! HREEEEEAAAEEEEEUEEEEH!!!!
If you are not using the tired old '666', you are not being spooky enough. Dead horses are meant to be clobbered beyond recognition!
Tip 13: (Last one, because thirteen is a scary number too!)
The ending should either be ambiguous to the point of confusion (Because confusion brooks discussion by your many fans!) or it should end with some hearty DUN-DUN-DUN of some sort so that the last words in the story stick with your reader! Atmosphere is for dingbats!
Thanks for reading, ladies and gents, and I hope you got a giggle or two out of this